2008 Man Booker Prize Judges

The TurboBookSnob would like to thank her husband for generously agreeing to write the biographies of this year's judges, and for applying his own outrageous sense of humour and unique style to this page, and enabling the TurboBookSnob to avoid rehashing the formal biographies that are presented on the Man Booker Prize web site.

The TurboBookSnob would like to take this opportunity to issue a friendly threat to Ion Trewin - until the TurboBookSnob is invited to be a judge, her husband the undersigned will continue to malign and slander the Booker Prize judges getting slightly more obnoxious and less truthful as the years progress!!

Although currently a successful Booker Prize Judge Chair, TurboBookSnob's readers might be interested to know that from the mid 1970s through 1985 when he joined the government, Michael Portillo couldn't hold down a job.   According to his own website, the man held at least 8 jobs during those years, accomplishing almost nothing except that he might have
graduated from Cambridge during this time.

From 1986 to 2005 he was a political tart, and even now his work remains mired in seedy world of the International Commission on Missing Persons in the former Yugoslavia. It's uncertain whether he is trying to help these
persons get found or stay missing forever?

Other than being a angel dust enthusiast and a Frotterist, not much is known about Alex Clark outside her literary criticism.

Scandal rocks the Booker Prize again this year as another judge ( Louise Doughty) is involved in a virtual waterfall of allegations of wrong doing before the longlist is even announced. Besides being a book nerd bombshell, Ms. Doughty is claimed to be the highest stone in a complicated pyramid scheme called A Novel in a Year.

New members in the scheme bought in for thousands of pounds each in hopes of having their dubious novels edited and marketed by a ficticious publishing house, that ended up being a shell company which funneled millions of dollars into the committee to elect Louise Doughty to judge the Booker Prize.

The TurboBookSnob would be morally outraged except that someday she intends to form, or have her husband form a committee to Elect the TurboBookSnob to judge the booker prize since she would be the greatest booker prize judge of all times.

Since James Heneage's dodgy relationship to the International power brokers HMV Group is widely known, I've decided to concentrate on the sex scandals Heneage has covered up with the untold wealth he acquired running private book stores over the years. The first sex scandal of interest was that for a brief time in 2003, Mr. Heneage was juggling a relationship with 3 out of 5 of the Spice Girls. It is rumored these relationships produced at least 2 love children, and a 80 Pound a day Viagra habit. The other scandal Mr. Heneage's wealth bought him out of was his relationship with a second tier Royal that also produced a love child. Since money wasn't a need of the particular Royal in question, the bounty to buy his freedom was signed copies of all seven Harry Potter First Editions.

Don't be fooled by his Indian sounding name. Hardeep Singh Kohli is an Islamic terrorist trying to bring down western civilization through Indian Cooking and abnormally large amounts of charitable work.

Hardeep was radicalized by his mother who was a Fundamentalist Social Worker in the 1960s, and some dodgy Jesuits at St. Aloysious College in Glascow Scotland.  Hardeep further outraged right thinking Britons when he took the stance that he was not in fact a terrorist, and that he was at least slightly ashamed for having read all the Harry Potter Books.

Other Booker Prize judges have already reported being privately urged to consider Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows for the 2008 Longlist, over the the TurboBookSnob's dead body…